But, I should. At least now and in the next semester, since I might not be working as a teacher for much longer.

Today I’ll add a little note on one student from a class I’ve been working in for several days while the teacher has been home caring for her son.

This little boy, a petite guy – we’ll call him Spiky, is, well, somewhere between adorable and annoying. He doesn’t pay much attention and takes longer than anyone to get his work done. He frustrates me because he is capable, but he doesn’t put in the effort to do his best. Lazy might be the best word.

But every now and then he’ll stop and say “Ms L. You are beautiful!!’ How can you be mad at that?

There are two girls in the class who are quite petite. they are both Asian (I think one Vietnamese, the other Thai) who are quite cute. Spiky will comment on their cuteness. As we were lined up to go home this afternoon he says: “Ms L! Aren’t T & V SOOO cute?” The girls just giggled at him.

As a substitute I always struggle with class management. I hop from one class in one school to another. One teaching style and class management style to another. Not only do I not know which style the teacher uses, but how do I implement it as a substitute.

It’s not just hard, but nearly impossible. I think I can speak for the majority of subs when I say that we try our best and have to put in a bit of our own style to get through the day. I was hoping, as his talk got under way that we would learn something about how to handle class management while subbing. My friend actually asked for specifics, but he didn’t respond (although I’m not sure why, exactly).

When I got this opportunity to do a long-term subbing job I became excited that I would be able to use the knowledge (and books I purchased) in this new classroom. After all, to me, long-term implied 2-3 weeks at the least. Last I heard I’ll be there for just one week.

However, that’s better than one day and it’s a brand new classroom, meaning there has to be some sort of management going on. Rules should be set so that kids have something to work with and when the teacher arrives it is not chaos. With that in mind, I’m going to start at least one idea that Mr. Morris showed us.

Basically it gives kids different sign language signs to use when raising their hands.

One of my biggest pet peeves in the classroom is when kids call out. I’m all for kids talking and having conversations, but when it’s MY turn to do what I have to do I don’t want them yelling at me. So I’m hoping these signs do the trick. I’m printing them out and going to put them up on Monday morning. It will take time for the kids to learn these strategies, but hopefully the teacher who is taking the class for the rest of the year will like it and keep it going.

I want to start a clip chart (behavior) but I don’t know that I will have enough time to really do so. Monday I have class at 7pm and I would rather not stay from 2:30-7 at work, but I am thinking I might have to, in order to prepare for the rest of the week. Although I was told that I shouldn’t be there past 4:30pm (it’s a rough neighborhood). If I’m going to have something for behavior for the week, though, it should be ready on Monday morning. However, I wasn’t given the names of the students because it wasn’t on the computer.

Decisions!

I don’t know if that’s going to happen, though. I don’t know how long I’m going to be at the school for.

I went in on Thursday because although the principal told me she’d see me on Monday, I knew that I had no idea what to expect. I wouldn’t have lesson plans prepared for me, instead I’d come in with nothing. They are opening a new classroom, so although the kids have been in school for a month or so, they are going to be disoriented and confused as to why they are being moved to a different room away from their teacher and friends.

The worst part, though, is not knowing how long I’m going to be there for. While at first I was thinking a week or two, now I’m thinking more like a few days. Hopefully they’ll be able to give me some sort of idea today, but it feels unlikely.

No matter what, though, I have to prepare the classroom for these 20 or so kids that will be joining me on Monday. I’m not getting paid for my work, and I don’t mind (especially since my friend is helping out) but there have to be limits on how much work I’m going to put into the room, as far as preparing it, goes. Of course I will do my very best in teaching and guiding the students, but I’m not going to go out and buy things or go beyond my limits to prepare a room which will be occupied by another teacher shortly.

I’m a bit confused at this point about who they are thinking of offering the job to. They mentioned RIF (reduction in force) teachers, but from my understanding they have no more rights than I do to be hired. The only teachers that must be hired are the displaced teachers who are still under contract but don’t have classrooms of their own. It makes me wonder about what is going on downtown and if I should call the union or the district and find out what the rules are about it. It’s not just this school, either. It’s something I’ve seen at another school (in which they put RIF ahead of regular subs) but that from what I (and regular subs I’ve talked to) think is against the agreement reached with the union.

Regardless, today I’m heading over to the school and I’m going to do my best in setting it up and preparing it for Monday. I am not, however, going to spend all my afternoon hours there or put as much effort into it like I would if I were the one who was going to be there for the rest of the school year.

I’m a week or so away from my first scheduled day of work (9/16) and I’m hoping that I might be more dedicated to this blog and post more about my experiences as a substitute.

My first job for the year, starting on 9/16 and going through 10/2 (minus one day, my birthday) will entail proctoring the CELDT tests.

CELDT stands for: California English Language Development Test. It is given to ELL’s. I assume that Nikki will eventually have to take this test. I remember giving it to Kinder’s when I was a TA, but as Nikki does understand and speak English pretty well, I don’t know if she will be in that classification so early on.

The testing, as far as I remember, isn’t difficult in the lower grades and time consuming for the upper grades. I don’t know exactly how this will work as a substitute, but I will try to write about it the best I can.

It might be boring and not as fun as actually teaching a full day, but I still get the same pay and it’s 10 or 11 days of work, working towards the 100 days I need in order to ensure health insurance next year.

Here’s to a new school year and a full year of work!

I woke up after a lack of sleep. I tossed and turned all night and it plain sucked! PLUS I could barely breathe. PLUS I developed allergies all day. Sneeze after loving sneeze.

Luckily work was good, I didn’t stress out, and the kids were nice. Plans were well laid out and I didn’t have any difficulty.

I’ve scanned nearly 250 pictures thus far, and am currently scanning more.

I took two benedryl to try and make these allergies go away and therefore I am getting quite sleepy.

I can’t drink ANYTHING after 12am. Or eat, of course. But then at 10:15 or so I get to get put to sleep and.. ahh! So beautiful sleep truly is. Then I wake up, get taken home, and get to pass out! I remember during my last operations I laid on the couch and drank milkshakes. Mmm. No solids! I love it! But, of course, there will be pain. BUT then, of course, there will be drugs!

I started reading a book about Jesus to Nikki (a new easy kid-book from Borders) and then asked my dad to give me a history/religious oral history. So we sat on the couch and he started from the beginning and we got to talking about how he used to take me to Sunday School when I was little, and blah. So he mentioned that he wanted to go to Church on Christmas, and I told him I’d go with him. Now, let me tell you how we’ll be at my sister’s house and she is athiest/agnostic and deplores religion. It will be interesting. BUT then I mentioned about going here, more often, and he agreed. So we will start going to a Methodist church which is near our house. It’ll be a nice experience, I think.

Our cable is out, so no TV for me at the moment. BUT I’ll watch TV online and that’ll fix that problem for the moment.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

I got a call to sub tomorrow from a teacher at my old work, Haskell. She had called and left a messege and I called her back saying I could sub Thursday and Friday. Then I remembered my dentist appoint and called back to let her know I could only do Thursday. I told her that if she didn’t want to call me for just one day and instead get another person who could do both days.

Well, yesterday? She calls me to confirm Thursday telling me that: “I’d rather have someone good for one day, than someone bad for two days.”

Total compliment. She said I’m a good teacher! Awesome! I am so happy. That really makes me feel good!

I am afraid of getting a job. Or, rather, the process of getting it. I’m afraid of interviewing. What’s my teaching philosophy? I wrote it down. It’s on paper. But do I mean it? How do I express it in a way that impresses the interviewer? I stick my foot in my mouth plenty of times.

If, for some weird act of a miracle, I actually GET a job? ALL that other stuff that comes with it? Scares the SHIT out of me. For example? The principal or other experienced person in authority coming in an observing me. SCARY. Being evaluated. SCARY. Having to turn in grades from state tests. SCARY.

It might seem as though I’m getting ahead of myself. Worrying about these things when I’m far from even having an INTERVIEW for a job. But it’s scary enough that makes me want to get a job somewhere else. Somewhere easy. Somewhere working as a secratary. Somewhere doing something that is easy and that doesn’t have responsibilities as big and spectacular as those that come with being a teacher.

So, bottom line? I don’t know what I’m doing.

I feel as though I’m going back to get my masters for no reason at all. Or rather, to take up time. To make my parents proud. To do SOMETHING. Something other than sitting on my ass all day. If subbing work was more common, more every-day… then maybe I could just do that all the time. It’d be so much easier. No having to worry about lesson plans and all the other crap that comes teaching full time.

Or am I just scared because I’ve never done anything full-time before and am freaking out about growing up? About doing something with my life.

This goes back to the whole being in limbo thing. How can I do anything when I have no idea what I’m doing.

Okay, I’ll cough it up. I’m watching the new movie on CBS, “Front of the Class”. Look it up for details, but it’s basically about a kid who had Tourette’s Syndrome and as an adult he wanted to be a teacher, and his struggle to get the job, etc. I’m seeing all the hard work he put in to getting the job… and I feel as though I barely put in any effort. But am I just trying to be down on myself? Since the movie is, after all, a movie? Plus he did go to over 20 schools. How about the fact that there are no jobs? Because there aren’t. The economy sucks (as if you didn’t know that). California is hurting bad, and it’s trickling down to the LAUSD. WHICH is where I need to get a job. Jobs are non-existant, not just far and few between. There are NONE.

So… I don’t know.

Well, anyway, if I DO work tomorrow and the rest of the week – MAN is it hard to get back to work after a 6 day holiday. I say 6 days because I didn’t, of course, work on Thanksgiving or the day after, then the weekend, and then I didn’t work yesterday or today. I started getting anxious about it, actually. BUT.

I think the reason for THAT was that I took two Vicodin for my back pain (prescribed to me!) and it knocked me out for 2 hours and now I’m awake, over heated and really not feeling like going to work tomorrow. But it’ll be good for me, being at home all day every day is not a good thing and I don’t have any other work lined up until January so I need the work when I can get it!

I had a dream last night, though, that I was working at Haskell and that I they needed a teacher and that I had a job! They needed me and gave me the job! Woohoo! I was all getting the class ready and it was just SO exciting. But then I woke up and realized it was all a bad dream. Bad because I woke up and it wasn’t true. Otherwise it was great.

But maybe it was telling the future and on Friday they’ll tell me they need me to cover a class? To take over for the rest of the year? I don’t know, but that would rock.

In the meantime, still not a lot of work. I worked 2 days last week, and tomorrow I’m working 3 hours at Lim school. Covering IEPs. These are generally easy because I don’t have to do anything – just supervise. I don’t have to be there until 11am, so that’s nice. But it also means only 3 hours of pay.

But I’ll be okay, for now. Hopefully I can get a full time job sometime soon.

More significantly… I’ve been feeling as though I’m in limbo. Work, no work, work, no work. Never knowing exactly what my schedule will be like. Well, it sucks, basically. But I came to the realization today that, well, this is my life right now. There isn’t much I can do about it right now. That just means I need to get used to living life as it comes. It’s nice, because I have days where I don’t have to get up early or dress up or go anywhere… but it’s quite boring, too. I’d LIKE to go out and work, make money. I have 3 days booked in the next 2 months. Not good. I need about 15 more days to be happy.

That said, I think doing Substituting is a good experience. It gives me a bit of many classes and that will help me in having my own classroom some day. I need to start making good notes of what I like in each classroom. I need to look at the different aspects of the classroom and take a bit from it.

It’s a bit scary, though. I won’t make the 100 days/600 hours needed in order to get health care next year. So I won’t have health insurance that way. So I might be facing a lack of health care for a year. That would not be good, but there isn’t much I can do about it. I can get a job, hopefully. The other option would be for me to MOVE somewhere and get a FULL time job. Somewhere. Where? Maybe up north. A job. With benefits.

Alas, one step at a time must be taken.

I submitted my application for Grad School. Now it’s waiting to get the results and then take the GRE. Woo.